Columbia University Press says, "In addition to providing rules for citation, they also give complete guidelines for formatting documents for online publication and for electronically preparing texts for print publication. Find out more about the book at: http://www.columbia.edu/cu/cup/cgos/index.html

VERBALS: GERUNDS

A gerund is a verb form ending in "ing" and used as a noun, e.g., (SUBJECT) "Writing requires special skills." (DIRECT OBJECT OF ENJOY)"I enjoy writing." (OBJECT OF PREPOSITION "IN") "He is experienced in writing.

PREPOSITIONAL-GERUND PHRASES: Examples from The Gregg Reference Manual, Seventh Edition:

WRONG: By installing a computerized temperature control system, a substantial saving in fuel costs was achieved.

RIGHT: By installing a computerized temperature control system, we achieved a substantial saving in fuel costs.

WRONG: In analyzing these specifications, several errors have been found.

RIGHT: In analyzing these specifications, I have found several errors.

NAUSEOUS OR NAUSEATED?

BARBARA PYM

Spinster Mildred reports to her attractive downstairs neighbor, Rocky, that vicar Julian Malory is to marry Mrs. Gray, a beautiful widow. "Poor Mildred," he says, "this is a sad day for you." Bristling, she says she never expected Malory to marry her. "But you may have hoped?" said Rocky. "...I should think you would make him a much better wife than a widow." Mildred thoughtfully remarks: "She is a clergyman's widow."

Then there's Jane and Prudence: Jane can't believe that her glamorous friend Prue is in love with her employer. Jane, a vicar's wife considers Dr. Grampiian an insignificant-looking little man. As she observes him visiting with Prue, she thinks, "...the things women were doing for men all the time...making them feel, perhaps sometimes by no more than a casual glance that they were loved and admired and desired when they were worthy of none of these things - enabling them to preen themselve and puff out their plumage like birds and bask in the sunshine of love, real or imagined, it didn't matter which."

If you love good characterization, you'll enjoy Pym's books, where trivialities take on a life and importance of their own. Most of her books are available at online bookstores.

THE PLUPERFECT VIRUS

A new computer virus is spreading throughout the Internet, and it is far more insidious than last week's Chernobyl menace. Named Strunkenwhite after the authors of a classic guide to good writing, it returns e-mail messages that have grammatical or spelling errors. It is deadly accurate in its detection abilities, unlike the dubious spell checkers that come with word processing programs.

The virus is causing something akin to panic throughout corporate America, which has become used to the typos, misspellings, missing words and mangled syntax so acceptable in cyberspace. The CEO of LoseItAll.com, an Internet startup, said the virus has rendered him helpless. "Each time I tried to send one particular e-mail this morning, I got back this error message:

'Your dependent clause preceding your independent clause must be set off by commas, but one must not precede the conjunction.' I threw my laptop across the room."

A top executive at a telecommunications and long-distance company, 10-10-10-10-10-10-123, said: "This morning, the same damned e-mail kept coming back to me with a pesky notation claiming I needed to use a pronoun's possessive case before a gerund. With the number of e-mails I crank out each day, who has time for proper grammar? Whoever created this virus should have their programming fingers broken."

A broker at Begg, Barow and Steel said he couldn't return to the "bad, old" days when he had to send paper memos in proper English. He speculated that the hacker who created Strunkenwhite was a "disgruntled English major who couldn't make it on a trading floor. When you're buying and selling on margin, I don't think it's anybody's business if I write that 'i meetinged through the morning, then cinched the deal on the cel phone while bareling down the xway.' "

If Strunkenwhite makes e-mailing impossible, it could mean the end to a communication revolution once hailed as a significant timesaver. A study of 1,254 office workers in Leonia, N.J., found that e-mail increased employees' productivity by 1.8 hours a day because they took less time to formulate their thoughts. (The same study also found that they lost 2.2 hours of productivity because they were e-mailing so many jokes to their spouses, parents and stockbrokers.)

Strunkenwhite is particularly difficult to detect because it doesn't come as an e-mail attachment (which requires the recipient to open it before it becomes active). Instead, it is disguised within the text of an e-mail entitled "Congratulations on your pay raise." The message asks the recipient to "click here to find out about how your raise effects your pension." The use of "effects" rather than the grammatically correct "affects" appears to be an inside joke from Strunkenwhite's mischievous creator.

The virus also has left government e-mail systems in disarray. Officials at the Office of Management and Budget can no longer transmit electronic versions of federal regulations because their highly technical language seems to run afoul of Strunkenwhite's dictum that "vigorous writing is concise."

The White House speechwriting office reported that it had received the same message, along with a caution to avoid phrases such as "the truth is. . ." and "in fact. . . ."

Home computer users also are reporting snafus, although an e-mailer who used the word "snafu" said she had come to regret it.

The virus can have an even more devastating impact if it infects an entire network. A cable news operation was forced to shut down its computer system for several hours when it discovered that Strunkenwhite had somehow infiltrated its TelePrompTer software, delaying newscasts and leaving news anchors nearly tongue-tied as they wrestled with proper sentence structure.

There is concern among law enforcement officials that Strunkenwhite is a harbinger of the increasingly sophisticated methods hackers are using to exploit the vulnerability of business's reliance on computers. "This is one of the most complex and invasive examples of computer code we have ever encountered. We just can't imagine what kind of devious mind would want to tamper with e-mails to create this burden on communications," said an FBI agent who insisted on speaking via the telephone out of concern that trying to e-mail his comments could leave him tied up for hours.

Meanwhile, bookstores and online booksellers reported a surge in orders for Strunk & White's "The Elements of Style."

AN ARTICLE BEFORE AN ACRONYM OR AN ABBREVIATION?

Recently a technical writer contacted me after having found my Web site thanks to a review "The Editorial Eye." She and several other tech writers were embroiled in a debate regarding articles and acronyms.

Her question: Is there a rule concerning omission of the definite article before an acronym or abbreviation? For example, the sentence "I'm attending the Massachusetts Institute of Technology" becomes "I'm attending MIT" when the abbreviation is used. Is the definite article always omitted in such cases?

Webgrammar's response: Chicago Manual of Style 14 (14.15) discusses the uncertainty that arises concerning the proper choice of the indefinite article before an acronym. A solution, it says, may be based on the way the acronym is read (a series of letters, a neologism [a new word, or new meaning for an established word], or a coined word).

If it is read as though all the words were spelled out (NAACP, TVA), the acronym is treated as a series of letters, and the choice of the article depends on the pronunciation of the first letter.

If it's generally pronounced as through it were a word (NATO, HUD), the article is determined by the pronunciation of the word.

VERBALS: PARTICIPLES, GERUNDS, AND INFINITIVES

Melissa H., contacted Webgrammar asking for a clear explanation of participles, gerunds, and infinitives. We will take one per issue, and this month, lucky readers, we discuss the paradoxical world of participles.

PARTICIPLE: a verb form (verbal) USED AS AN ADJECTIVE. Because it's based on a verb, it expresses action or a state of being, but because it's ACTING as an adjective, it modifies ONLY nouns or pronouns. There are two types of participles: PRESENT and PAST.

Present participles end in -ing.

Past participles end in -ed, -en, -d, -t, or -n (e.g., asked, eaten, saved, dealt, and seen).

Participial PHRASES present a plethora of challenges:

• When to set off the phrase with commas:(Only if the information is not essential to the sentence's meaning)
• How to punctuate when it comes at the end of a sentence: (Generally, precede it with a comma)
• Placement relative to the noun it modifies: (As close as possible, for clarity)

Purdue University's Online Writing Lab offers a wealth of information on verbals: http://owl.english.purdue.edu/Files/5.html

Another fine source: Professor Charles Darling and Capital Community-Technical College  Guide to Grammar and Writing:

And how about William Safire's site, where he posts rules such as, "A writer must not shift your point of view" and "Writing carefully, dangling participles must be avoided."

PATRICK O'BRIAN

Webgrammar will soon begin her third go-around of this rich, satisfying series. I found the first book of the series the most difficult in terms of holding my attention. Once I waded through it, however, I couldn't stop. I'm addicted to his writing, which is colorful, informative, descriptive, sensitive, and delightfully humorous. Here is a sample of his gift with words: (From Truelove, copyright 1993):

"...a space filled with the sun reflected from the wake and the dancing sea, vivid and full of life...a range of windows running across the whole width, a fourth and inwardly slanting wall of bright glass panes that made the cabin the most beautiful room in the world."

I began learning more about "allergies and sensitivities to noise/sound, odors, chemicals and medications..." I discovered that being around people wearing light cologne or musky after-shave made my friend ill, especially in confined areas such as car interiors or small offices.

Later I began coaching someone with severe asthma. Scent plays an important part in her life, as well. Proximity to certain scents often brings on an asthma attack.

Okay, Webgrammar, you say, what does that have to do with us? Well, dear reader, let me explain. I'm a mother-in-law. The "other mother-in-law," Dr. Nancy Kerr, just sent me "The Bridge," a newsletter produced by Arizona Bridge to Independent Living: . This nonprofit organization provides programs designed to empower people with disabilities. When I spotted the following announcement, I decided it was time to pass the word about scent, since so many people remain ignorant of its potential:

"NO FRAGRANCES PLEASE. The ABIL office is a fragrance-free, tobacco-free environment. Please do not wear scented products or smoke when visiting our center. Thank you."

Incidentally, Nancy just retired after years of teaching and leadership at Arizona State University.

In America's pre-smoke-free days, a person would often sit down, pull out a cigarette and lighter, place the cigarette in his/her mouth, flick the BIC, and pause before saying, "Do you mind if I smoke?" They gave people a choice. Most still do. But most of us don't carry around our favorite after-shave and spray perfume. It's already in place.

So, dear reader, if you regularly wear any kind of scent, consider, from a medical standpoint, those with whom you will come in contact. People who may be affected include but are not limited to those with - asthma, allergies, chronic fatigue syndrome, lupus, fybromyalgia, Lyme disease, and multiple sclerosis.

MONDEGREENS

Then we have Creedence Clearwater performing “Bad Moon Rising.” Problem is, lots of listeners thought the words “There’s a bad moon on the rise” was “There’s a bathroom on the right.” How about "The Ants Are My Friends" for "the answer, my friends, is blowin' in the wind" or “Please relieve me - let me go,” instead of “Please release me, let me go.”

Sylvia Wright coined the word “mondegreen” in a column she wrote in the fifties. She had earlier heard a Scottish folk song, “The Bonny Earl Of Morray.” The original lyrics: “Oh, they have slain the Earl o’ Morray and laid him on the green” but she heard, “Oh, they have slain the Earl o’ Morray and Lady Mondegreen.”

Learn more about mondegreens at http://www.sfgate.com/columnists/carroll/mondegreens.shtml and http://www.enteract.com/~jessicar/lyrics/start.html

COULD CARE LESS, OR COULDN’T CARE LESS?

1. I could care less (Means that I have the capacity, or desire, to care even less than I care at the moment)

2. I couldn’t care less (Means that I do not have the capacity, or desire, to care any less than I care at the moment) Most people, when they are indifferent to something, or fed up, properly say, “I couldn’t care less.”

I went to the Copyeditors List Archives to study some of the experts’ comments. Here are several CE-L members’ comments:

1. (copyeditor) Look at it this way: “I could care less (but not much)” or “I could care less (but it ain’t likely, friend.)”

2. It seems to me that when I (a copyeditor) began noticing this expression, some decades ago, it usually came across not as a statement but as a rhetorical question--”I could care less?”--and thus made sense.

3. (copyeditor) I still say and write “I couldn’t care less” because that’s what is meant. When I find “I could care less” in material I’m editing, I change it when the meaning is “there is nothing that matters less to me; this is at the bottom of my list of concerns; I care more about everything else than about this”--and so far, that’s always been the intended meaning.

4. (copyeditor) It’s a Mondegreen idiom of sorts. I say “of sorts” because the original phrase is _not_ idiomatic--it’s perfectly sensible. But people have misheard it for so long (and passed their mangled version down to their kids for so many generations) that some people will insist that “I could care less” is correct. They try to tell me it’s sarcastic or ironic. I will buy that only in the context of a high, whiny, nasal voice (female)saying “Like I could care less”, meaning “as though I could care less”, meaning “I couldn’t care less”.

COPYEDITORS LIST (CE-L)

ORIGINAL COMMENT: It’s “myriad complaints” or “myriad symptoms,” not “a myriad of problems.” Everybody from the AP to the LAT-WP service to my own newsroom has bumbled this one. Nouns vs. adjectives, people. Come on, care about the language.

RESPONSE 1. “Myriad” has been used as a noun with the meaning “countless numbers of” since at least 1555--although it was originally used in the plural. The use of “myriad” as an adjective came hundreds of years later.

RESPONSE 2. I admire your sources, but point out that Merriam-Webster’s 10 has myriad as an adjective, but first as:1myriad \mir-e-ed\ noun [Gk myriad-, myrias, fr. myrioi countless, ten thousand] (1555) 1 : ten thousand 2 : a great number (a myriad of ideas)

And so it goes . . . This group is truly a global community, offering incredible language and related cultural support. Occasionally members post some excellent job opportunities for editors (usually in the US). If you think you might benefit, consider visiting their archives: http://listserv.indiana.edu/archives/copyediting-l.html or, to subscribe, send LISTSERV@LISTSERV.INDIANA.EDU the command SUBSCRIBE COPYEDITING-L (do not have any other text in the body of the message, or LISTSERV will bounce it back to you.) It defaults to digest mode.

ONLINE WRITING LIST (OWL)

OWL members exchange not only ideas, but the finest resources and occasional job openings. The OWL archives can be found at http://www.content-exchange.com/cx/html/owl.htm  

CONTENT EXCHANGE

They expect this to be a great source of paying freelance (and staff) work for online content creators, and a great source of talent for online venues. Membership is free for a limited time while they build up their databases. http://www.content-exchange.com/

http://www.content-exchange.com/cx/html/pressreleases/pr041699.htm Content Exchange also has launched its biweekly newsletter, Content Spotlight, for content creators and online publishers. This newsletter offers practical advice for content creators, such as how to find paying online work and contains advice for online publishers, such as how to identify appropriately skilled content talent.

META SEARCH ENGINE

SMALL BUSINESS ON THE INTERNET

• http://www.tqm-online.com Bob Cortez
• http://loska.com/successconnection Wanda Loskot
• http://www.profnet.org Nancy Roebke

Do join discussion groups, sign up for newsletters (all three have superb newsletters), and begin to get involved in the Internet community. You will slowly see how you can properly put together the components required for a "successful" home-based business. All three (me, too!) will tell you to take plenty of time in the planning mode, regardless of whether this is a "brick and mortar" business or\a virtual business, or a combination. You will also learn that once you've started the business, you will need more time before you begin to see pleasing financial results. Keep in mind that you are a professional and will be selling a service, not a commodity. My three pros will show you how to market yourself and your business and to think marketing and networking rather than advertising (certainly a component of marketing). ---End of Judy's comments

SCHADENFREUDE

INTERNET STATISTICS

CONTESTS & COMPETITION FOR WRITERS

IN SEARCH OF A MAECENAS

I asked him for a better description of the word, but couldn't wait for the answer. I grabbed my Webster's New World Dictionary. Aha! Maecenas (my-see-nus) was a Roman statesman and a patron of Horace and Vigil. Today, maecenas means a wealthy patron, especially of literature or art.

Then I heard back from France: "In French mecene rich person who helps people or institutions benevolently.

DOUBLE POSSESSIVES

Webgrammar's response: (1) CMS14 6.20 says, "Closely linked nouns are often considered a single unit in forming the possessive, then the entity possessed is the same for both:
---My aunt and uncle's house
---The skull and crossbones' symbolic meaning.
When the "ownership" is separate, however, both nouns take the possessive form:
---Our son's and daughter's friends.

GREGG REFERENCE MANUAL 642b says that if one or of the individuals' names are replaced by a possessive pronoun, watch out for awkwardness and reword if necessary.
---Awkward: my and the seller's signatures
---Better: the seller's and my signatures
---Or: the seller's signature and mine
---Awkward: their and our houses
---Better: their house and ours

PROOFREADING TIPS

If you tend to skip ahead, looking for errors, try using a blank sheet of paper to cover the lines below the one you're reading.

Try reading out loud. It forces you into an awareness of every word, piece of punctuation, and much more.

INTERNET SCAMBUSTERS

Y2K is getting even more bad press as people saying they are representing banks call people and try to obtain confidential information. They say they must have "oral" confirmation. Read more about the comprehensive and well-presented ScamBusters at http://www.scambusters.org/index.html.

Words from Webgrammar: Be cautious of ANY communication that tries to instill doubt, fear, or outrage, and insists on an immediate response.

SYNEDOCHE: FIGURE OF SPEECH OR EXOTIC MEDITERRANEAN ISLAND?

   The fees demanded by your Harrison Fords and your Bruce Willises    are soaring. . . .Your Robert Byrds and your Ted Kennedys are not going along with the idea . . .

The word for this common figure of speech is synedoche, and it is broken down as follows: syn-ec-do-che. According to Webster’s New World Dictionary, 2nd College Edition, it is a figure of speech in which a part issued for a whole, an individual for a class, a material for a thing, or the reverse of any of these. Now you know!

WEB PAGES BY YOUNG PEOPLE

Last issue Dr. Henk Van Setten shared some thoughts on why adults may become upset with the poor grammar of today’s young people. After reading the newsletter, JEFF CLARK, INTERNET BROTHERS http://internetbrothers.com , commented:

“I've observed two distinct classes, or cultures if you will, of web pages by youngsters. The first, the ones I would generally describe as pure junk (perhaps too harsh), I think are motivated merely by the "rush to the Web."

The second class of web sites I see from young people are those from absolutely brilliant artists. Some, if not most, of the highest quality web artwork and design I have seen is being done by people still in their teens. But unfortunately in a lot of cases they ruin totally beautiful sites with textual content that makes one wonder if they ever spent a day in English class. Spelling, grammar, context, composition, you name it, it's simply missing.

Don't get me wrong, there are many sites done by adults that are just as bad, but why is it I rarely see a young person's site that is both aesthetically pleasing and content rich? In my view, again two reasons. "The rush to the web" syndrome permeates even high-quality artistic sites. They do at least spend time developing the graphical presentation part, but don't continue that energy with the content. Sort of like "here's my art, what do you think?" They simply haven't been taught how to express themselves with the written word, just with their imaginations.

Second, and I'll probably get in trouble with teachers for this, I think it's societal. I believe there is more time spent in public schools these days on political correctness, preparing goals, and plain ole propaganda gobbledygook than there is on 3R fundamentals. My stepson had to take four semesters of remedial English in college just to get to where he should have been after high school graduation.

Will they improve, care more? Most probably not, they'll simply lose interest in all the work it takes to create a web presence that more than just the kids on their block come to visit. But for those who have obvious talent in one or more of the web fundamental constructs, I think yes resoundingly. Why?

Because we encourage them. When I review sites, I try to make a point of highlighting both the strong points and the areas in need of improvement in a constructive way. Sure, in a lot of cases they accept the praise, while ignoring the criticism, but I think eventually they will sit back, take a deep breath, and look at the whole picture. Oh how I wish I had just a smidgen of some of the artistic talent that's out there.

HOW TO CLOG CYBERSPACE

You've probably discovered that all effective chain letters use either a hook, a threat and/or a request for immediate action. To refuse to do so puts you in the same category as an unfeeling monster or the Grinch that stole Christmas. Or something. At the least, you feel twinges of false guilt.
Two sites at http://ciac.llnl.gov/ciac/CIACChainLetters.html, and http://ciac.llnl.gov/ciac/CIACHoaxes.html, provide excellent information for the uninformed. One reveals: ". . . a message can be forwarded to hundreds of people at no apparent cost to the sender. If each of the so-called good Samaritans sends the letter on to only ten other people (most send to huge mailing lists), the ninth resending results in a billion e-mail messages, thereby, clogging the network and interfering with the receiving of legitimate e-mail messages. Factor in the time lost reading and deleting all these messages and you see a real cost to organizations and individuals from these seemingly innocuous messages."

Here’s a recent urban legend making its rounds via e-mail, giving its history and facts as they exist today: http://snopes.simplenet.com/spoons/faxlore/missngkd.htm

Rule of thumb from Webgrammar: Never, ever, open a document or a program until you've virus-checked it. The only exception is a text document (.txt extension). Don't open one just because your dearest friend of twenty years sends it. NOT opening it doesn't suggest your friend is malicious. Sometimes people simply may not know that what they are sending could hurt your hard drive.

GRAMMAR AS A CULTURAL QUALITY

In the world around us, we often witness poor grammar usage. How much should that bother us? Particularly when the users are our own children or their friends?

Recently, I asked educational expert Dr. Henk van Setten for insight in this area, "...in my own Dutch-speaking environment I often encounter complaints of an older generation criticizing what is experienced as the faulty language use of the younger generation. For example, people even take the trouble to write letters to the editor in newspapers about issues like this.

"In some cases (for example when plain laziness or lack of knowledge is the cause of such language) there is good reason for trying to correct them. But what most people complaining about youth's language often tend to forget, is that every language is a LIVING phenomenon: meaning that language use is subject to continuous change. Many words and expressions that were considered improper or even totally wrong a hundred years ago, have now become part of our language heritage, and are considered quite normal practice.

"It's not only these youngsters talking in a different way from their elders: if these same elders were to be judged in turn by their own (miraculously revived) grandparents, they would probably get exactly the same kind of criticism!

"This may be simply the expression of a generational difference: a generational difference that in fact has always been changing language practice, even though the pace of change might be faster now than it was a century ago.

"So why is it that people sometimes feel irritated by the language peculiarities of the young? To put things quite bluntly, the psychological explanation might well be that such language is felt to be irritating, simply because hearing it reminds one so clearly of the fact that one no longer does belong to the younger generation..."

Dr. Van Setten is Associate-Professor,History of Education and Childhood
Editor, The History of Education Site:http://www.socsci.kun.nl/ped/whp/histeduc/
University Nijmegen, Dept. Algemene Pedagogiek, Netherlands

RECOMMENDATIONS

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• Authorlink: news, information, & marketing service for editors, literary agents & writers
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• Bobby: Site Analyzer for people with disabilities
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• Stephen Brockelman: Marketing, Advertising, Copywriting, Promotion
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• Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest
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• Capital Connection: a model of Internet community spirit
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• Capitolium - Imperial Forums
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• Career Network Associates: for Students, Academicians & Mental Health Professionals interested in quality career growth
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• Chiasmus
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• Classical Jazz - for lovers of classical music or jazz
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• Daily Grammar Tips http://www.dailygrammar.com/
• Focus on Top Web Links http://www.kuca.com/join.html
• For Journalism Teachers Only
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• Guggenheim Museums
  http://www.guggenheim.org/
• The Free Library of Classics (200+ works)
  http://www.information-resources.com/Library/library.html
• Gunning's Fog Index
  http://www.atu.edu/acad/schools/lfa/english/Brucker/Fog.html
• How Stuff Works: one of the finest sites on the Internet
  http://www.howstuffworks.com
• Human Resources Professional Consulting - The Akens Group
  http://www.akens.com
• January Magazine, Linda Richards, Editor
  http://www.januarymagazine.com/
• Katsuey’s Legal Links
  http://www.katsuey.com
• LearningFOUNT, An email discussion list for executives & entrepreneurs. To subscribe, send a blank email to:
  mailto:subscribe@learningfountain.com
• Literatus http://www2.crosswinds.net/~literatus/
• Marketing: Wanda Loskot’s Success Connection
  http://www.loska.com/index.html
• Networking: Nancy Roebke
  http://www.profnet.org/
• Network Nuggets: Ezine with Educational Internet Resources:
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• Newsgroup Netiquette
  http://www.wave.ca/HelpSafeNetiquette.html
• Pilot Search - Starting point for literary searches
  http://205.163.58.242/
• Resource Library Magazine: articles, essays & letters on representational American art
  http://www.tfaoi.com/resourc.htm
• Resume Connexion - Resumes, Cover Letters, Career Tips
  http://www.akens.com/trc/index.html
• Robert Fournier: Rob’s wURLd - excellent reviews of Web sites. Subscribe at:
  http://www.topica.com/lists/RobswURLd OR mailto:RobswURLd-subscribe@topica.com
• Self-study quiz for ESL Students:
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• Semantic Rhyming Dictionary
  http://www.link.cs.cmu.edu/dougb/rhyme.html
• Seneca Review
  http://www.hws.edu/~SenecaReview/
• The Skeptic's Dictionary
  http://skepdic.com/
• Soliloquy for writers, poets
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• Jennifer Stewart, Write 101
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• The Story Exchange
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• Surfing the Net with Kids - Barbara Feldman
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• Virtual Business Support - Akens Business Essentials
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• WebExhibits
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• Word Central Merriam-Webster for Students
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• Yeah Write Word Processor
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